Thursday, June 4, 2009

finding the strengh... i was walking through Wal-Mart today, i literally bumped into a stand of Alli. Which, in a way, was a bit funny because I've been wanting to speed up this weight loss thing a lot lately. Somehow I resisted throwing that box into my cart and running to the nearest checkout (part of it may have been the absolute fear of anal leakage EAK!). Instead, I proceeded to pick up the packages that fell, put them back up on the display and promptly turned and walked the opposite direction as fast as i could only to find myself walking through the diet supplements isle. It's tempting... oh so tempting. A part of me almost convinced myself that it was destiny. I have been proud of myself so far for being able to walk away from all these fancy shmancy pills and drinks and whatevers. I'm not sure i could ever feel proud saying the words out loud that i lost all my weight "by myself" with no supplement help at all. Which, by the way, I am determined to be able to say by the time this year is over with. It almost kinda feels like I'm cheating if i dare even thing of taking something for a boost.

Don't get me wrong, i have no problem with anyone who does. Sometimes i think that maybe all i need is that little extra boost to set me straight... but frankly, i think I'm just chicken LOL and truthfully, that may be all thats stopping me right now. I have a very close friend who is VERY obese (i believe he told me his starting weight was 460 lbs) who is taking daily HCG shots and a VERY restricted calorie diet (500 calories... can you believe it? i think I'd die the first day). He has been on this diet for a week today and has lost 16 pounds. I don't believe that it's the healthiest way of going about losing weight but i can't help feel a tiny bit (or a HUGE bit) of a twinge of jealousy thinking that in the last week, he's lost the same amount of weight i want to lose that will probably take me another 4-6 months or more to lose. And, i can't help feeling so incredibly happy for him and a huge part of me wants to go swipe some of that stuff for myself.

I suppose there is no meaning to this post other than, I'm frustrated. I know for me to be successful, i need to take my time and work at it right. But i also think, it's so not fair to have those silly displays in the middle of store isles... just so not fair ;-)


  1. Yes ... its so hard to do alone ... which is why we are all here.

    A part of a team. A WONDERFUL SOON TO BE THIN TEAM.


    We can do it.

    We can and we will.

  2. Good work on passing the Alli! I have to admit, the only thing that stops me from taking these things is the fear of side effects like the one you mentioned.....eewwww!

    We can all do this together!

  3. Good job on not taking those evil diet things, although the thought has crossed my mind at times. Understandable to be frustrated, I find that if I can pull a little mind control out and think that I am doing this for other reasons like health and to show my ailing mom that she is leaving behind a healthy daughter that those reasons motivate me more than wanting to be a size whatever, and the result will hopefully be weight loss on top of the other reasons.

    Keep up the will power!!!