...as i was walking through Wal-Mart today, i literally bumped into a stand of Alli. Which, in a way, was a bit funny because I've been wanting to speed up this weight loss thing a lot lately. Somehow I resisted throwing that box into my cart and running to the nearest checkout (part of it may have been the absolute fear of anal leakage EAK!). Instead, I proceeded to pick up the packages that fell, put them back up on the display and promptly turned and walked the opposite direction as fast as i could only to find myself walking through the diet supplements isle. It's tempting... oh so tempting. A part of me almost convinced myself that it was destiny. I have been proud of myself so far for being able to walk away from all these fancy shmancy pills and drinks and whatevers. I'm not sure i could ever feel proud saying the words out loud that i lost all my weight "by myself" with no supplement help at all. Which, by the way, I am determined to be able to say by the time this year is over with. It almost kinda feels like I'm cheating if i dare even thing of taking something for a boost.
Don't get me wrong, i have no problem with anyone who does. Sometimes i think that maybe all i need is that little extra boost to set me straight... but frankly, i think I'm just chicken LOL and truthfully, that may be all thats stopping me right now. I have a very close friend who is VERY obese (i believe he told me his starting weight was 460 lbs) who is taking daily HCG shots and a VERY restricted calorie diet (500 calories... can you believe it? i think I'd die the first day). He has been on this diet for a week today and has lost 16 pounds. I don't believe that it's the healthiest way of going about losing weight but i can't help feel a tiny bit (or a HUGE bit) of a twinge of jealousy thinking that in the last week, he's lost the same amount of weight i want to lose that will probably take me another 4-6 months or more to lose. And, i can't help feeling so incredibly happy for him and a huge part of me wants to go swipe some of that stuff for myself.
I suppose there is no meaning to this post other than, I'm frustrated. I know for me to be successful, i need to take my time and work at it right. But i also think, it's so not fair to have those silly displays in the middle of store isles... just so not fair ;-)
Sisterhood & the StepBet Challenge
1 year ago