Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Feeling like a complete failure...kinda?

Weigh-In 258.2

My life is crazy, insane, and wonderful all at the same time. I'm excelling in my job and really enjoy what I'm doing. My relationship is short of a fairytale (dating my high school sweetheart after 10 years..crazy!) and I'm wonderfully happy and he makes me laugh EVERY DAY!

YET....I have so many goals and dreams and I feel like I don't have any time to accomplish them.

Marriage - yep we're working on it, that's of course a financial burden in some ways and we struggle with to spend or not to spend.

House - ties into the first, the market is ripe for buyers and we really need to save money to make this happen soon.

Work - requires a lot of time in and out of the office and I want to do well so I try to go above and beyond more often than not.

WEIGHT LOSS - finding time to workout, eat right and just be healthy is increasingly difficult. What's crazy is that my guy absolutely LOVES me as I am and if it were not for the fact that I didn't like the way I looked he would think I'm absolutely perfect. He wants to help me but he genuinely likes my 'healthy curves' as he puts it so I don't get pressure from him. Mind you, I'm very thankful of that fact. On that note - he makes me feel so good about myself and when i'm with him i'm beautiful. Yet I want to be more (or less... :P ) for myself and and even for him. However after the burdens of the day I come home to attempt to finish in peace what I couldn't during the day and then all I want to do is cuddle up on the couch and laugh and be happy with him. We both like activity and summer weekends are filled with constant moving but getting into the gym or a creative workout routine continues to elude me and therefore I have YET to reach my 5% goal in over 6 months of on and off workout and dieting. I feel like a failure.

I've always struggled with watching others throw themselves at things while I feel like I rarely compelte things when I start them. And if I do it's not with the same determination that I began with. I started blogging at the begining of the year and I truly enjoyed it and got wonderful compliments on my weight loss content but then the promotion and life and me just not following through and here I am I've blogged on my site once in 4 months. Crazy!!!

I'm struggling with work - life - workout balance and I just don't know what to do.


  1. it's so difficult when life gets in the way. I love that you are happy though and i REALLY love that your hubby loves you JUST the way you are! Gotta love men like that and you've got a good one.

    THings will fall into place. It's all about being more healthy right and not a number.

  2. I believe it was Zsa Zsa Gabor that said, when she was deliriously happy she was heavier ... she she was miserable she was thin.

    I believe I (and you) fit into this category.

    It's easy for me to lose weight when I am miserable.

    So be HAPPY and have that extra. I have always been told that I am sexier with my extra curves; cause I am happy and that is better than being miserable and skinny - ANYDAY!